oleh Inin Nasta’in
***
Entah berapa tahun ke belakang saya menonton film ‘Rayya, Cahaya di Atas Cahaya’ untuk pertama kalinya. Pun saya tidak tahu pasti sudah berapa kali duduk sila, selonjoran, baringan nonton film yang sudah mulai berpindah ke kamar indekos lewat laptopku itu. Paham? Nggak.. Sampai sekarang yang saya tangkap hanya beberapa petikan dialognya. Selebihnya? Saya hanya sok-sok an khusyuk melototin video, sambil berharap bisa menangkap pesan yang ingin disampaikan dalam film itu. Atau setidaknya dapat pembenaran atas beberapa kali saya nonton film itu.
 .
Apa yang saya alami dengan film itu, diam-diam membawa saya ke putaran waktu ke belakang, ketika pertama kali riungan dengan teman-teman Jamparing Asih (JA). Dalam pertemuan pertama di aula RRI, semua yang hadir diminta untuk menyampaikan apapun itu seputar maiyah dan Mbah Nun. Tidak terkecuali, Ustad Bambang, yang saat itu menyempatkan diri hadir bersama kami.
 .
jamparing.
Salah seorang hadirin menyampaikan pengalamannya bergelut dengan maiyah. Meskipun tidak rutin datang setiap bulan, tapi si temen ini cukup sering hadir di Majelisan Kenduri Cinta (KC), Jakarta. Dari kehadirannya yang lumayan sering, dia menyampaikan bahwa dia tidak lekas paham apa yang dibahas Mbah Nun di Majelisan KC itu. Tapi diam-diam, si temen itu merasa ada perasaan senang, perasaan yang bener-bener baru dirasakan setiap kali pulang dari sana. Ketidakpahamannya dengan apa yang disampaikan, tidak lantas membuat dia pundung. Tapi justru membuat dia ketagihan untuk datang, datang dan datang lagi.
.
Saya diem-diem terusik dengan pengakuan dari si temen itu. Karena memang itu juga yang saya rasakan selama ini. Tidak hanya ketika nonton Rayya, cahaya di Atas Cahaya saja. Ketika saya membuka youtube Mbah Nun, saya ikut tertawa, ikut seolah-olah terlihat berpikir keras mencerna apa yang disampaikan. Tapi lagi-lagi tolong jangan tanya apa dan bagaimananya. Karena saya tidak bisa mempertanggungjawabkannya dengan seketika.
.
Seiring berjalannya waktu, ketika JA terus berjalan, dan mulai rutin membagikan tulisan-tulisan Mbah Nun, khususnya ketika turun hujan Daur, sedikit demi sedikit saya mulai paham dan merasa ada ketidakminderan dengan apa yang saya alami. Dari sekian jarang Daur Mbah, tulisan tentang Mbah  yang saya baca, saya menemukan tulisan tentang pelok dan mangga. Lewat tulisan itu, saya sok-sok an untuk menafsirkannya.
 .
maiyahan
.
Ketika banyak kalangan yang gemar memberi mangga, tapi Mbah Nun tidak. Beliau ingin, anak cucunya ketika pada satu kesimpulan, itu hasil dari proses pencariannya sendiri. Mbah Nun sekan-akan ingin anak cucunya mendapatkan cahaya yang tidak temaram, apalagi redup. Mbah Nun ingin anak cucunya mendapatkan cahaya yang benar-benar benderang. Dan itu bisa didapatkan, ketika anak cucunya memulai dari pelok, sebelum akhirnya menikmati Mangga Gendong Gincu Majalengka. Mbah Nun tidak mau anak cucunya menjadi generasi orang yang setengah, tidak utuh. Mbah Nun sekan-akan mengingatkan bahwa ‘kamu itu tidak langsung menjadi mahasiswa, sarjana. Tapi juga kamu terlebih dahulu duduk di SD, SMP dan MTs, SMA dan MA, baru kemudian menjadi mahasiswa, dan sarjana,” Mbah Nun sekan-akan tiadak rela jika anak cucunya hanya tahu hasil, tanpa mau peduli dengan proses. Menjaid generasi yang sakaba-kaba tidak puguh.
 .
Dengan menginginkan anak cucunya berdaulat, Mbah Nun sengaja merusak pikiran anak cucunya. Mbah Nun merusak, tanpa harus membuat anak cucu minder, pundung dan sebagainya. Mbah Nun ngasih pelok kepada anak cucunya, sambil mengajak tertawa dan berjoget. Sehingga nantinya, cahaya yang melekat pada anak cucu, adalah cahaya yang benar-benar cahaya. Cahaya yang tidak hanya menerangi orang lain saja, melainkan cahaya yang akan menciptakan cahaya untuk yang lainnya. Bermaiyah, untuk menuju cahaya.. Cahaya yang bukan hasil mendompleng, bonceng dari cahaya lain…

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